Jeremiah 17:9-10 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? 10 I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.
Heart: Hebrew: leb 1) inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding
Heart: Greek: kardi,a kardia {kar-dee’-ah} that organ in the animal body which is the centre of the circulation of the blood, and hence was regarded as the seat of physical life 1) denotes the centre of all physical and spiritual life, 2a) the soul or mind, as it is the fountain and seat of the thoughts, passions, desires, appetites, affections, purposes, endeavours
Deceitful: Hebrew: {aw-kobe’} 1) deceitful, sly, insidious, slippery
Wicked: Hebrew: {aw-nash’} 1) to be weak, sick, frail, to be incurable
So according to Jeremiah, our heart/inner man, will, is deceitful, sly, insidious, and slippery, the heart is weak, frail and incurable, and who can know it?
I have discovered that a vast majority of issues that many encounter are relational issues. On one hand it is our vertical relationship between us and God, and on the other hand, it is our horizontal relationships with others.
Significant relationships require love, and love requires the involvement of the heart. Therefore if we are to have successful, vibrant, God inspired relationships of any kind, it is incumbent of us to address the heart. The heart is internal, and it is difficult to diagnose the condition of the heart by looking on the outside individual. The Lord told Samuel “… man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” So let’s take an honest in depth at the heart…
What is the condition of my heart?
(normally I would use the pronoun we/our to make it generic, but I will be the guinea pig and put myself out there)
I’ve discovered that my heart is strong for others. I pride myself on being compassionate and a conduit of love that flows from God through me to the world. Personally my heart is damaged and fragile (this blog is becoming way to personal.) not in a victimized sense of the word, where I desire pity but in a realistic sense. Don’t get it twisted my heart is also deceitful. I have a tendency to love in matrix that don’t require me to have the love reciprocated (i.e. ministry and professional life). When people validate me in these scenarios, I immediately give it back to God. Very little risk is required on my end; however, it is deceitful because it isn’t just about giving it to God, it’s about a subtle fear of being vulnerable and exposed to rejection so I share my love in these areas that don’t expose me personally. Ultimately in regards to serving others, I expect nothing in return, and if love is reciprocated, I give it back to God while I remain emotionally distant from the equation.
How did it become this way?
Spiritually speaking my heart became strong from trusting God, and following His word, allowing his love to fill my heart. My heart has also incurred damage through disappointment with God, where I have become bitter and disheartened when my reality doesn’t seem to match my expectations of God and His word. This trend is prevalent personally, from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood when exposing our hearts to individuals whose words don’t match behaviors, these actions can chip away and slowly erode our heart. As a result trust is broken, confidence is shattered and hearts become critical, cynical, jaded, and fearful. Instead of allowing ourselves to feel, driven by fear we protect our heart in many ways which is dangerous because it interferes with experiencing real God love. For God, fear and love are mutually exclusive. 1 John 4:18 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
How does this impact the way I live my life?
Some respond to the hurt and pain of their past, by switching roles allowing the victim to be the perpetrator. In actuality, the new perpetrator remains a victim, because they are living without the innocence they once had, allowing love to be less than pure and a game based on calculation and manipulation. Therefore this response is not a viable option.
It affects the way I live because, even on a personal level often I love to the extent that doesn’t require me to trust or be affected. The moment I decide to trust I am exposed to another person. To combat this fear, often I would allow a person inside and then reject them when they got close to my comfort zone, not recognizing what I was rejecting, was really what I desired. In a weird way, I would sabotage or hurt myself so I didn’t have to experience hurt from the other party. (Craziness! the bible is right the heart is a trip, who could know it?) Don’t get it twisted, I have learned (and continue to learn) to use extreme discretion before giving your heart to an individual. But even after we decide (this is a conscious decision, and remember decisions come with a responsibility and a duty, so make wise decisions) to take the risk, I have learned not to trust the person, but to trust the God that is inside of the person. Which is why it is difficult to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who is not connected to God, and allowing God to shape and mold them in His image. It is imperative that a person loves God more than they love you. Not just in words, but in action. It takes time for actions to manifest themselves. Time provides multiple scenarios and situations to discover who a person is. If you want to know what something is made of, you change the environment. I used to subscribe to the theory, when people tell you about themselves believe them, I would add an addendum to that, when people show you themselves, believe that as well.
So God I need you in essence to choose for me. If my heart according to the word is slippery and deceitful, I do not want to make decisions from this corrupt place. I can’t “follow my heart,” but I desire now to follow your heart. Perhaps my heart needs to be broken so I can have a heart transplant, where your heart beats inside of me. So that is where I have arrived, I am tired of operating on myself alone. I need you to be my cardiologist and Create in me a clean heart and renew a right Spirit. Please schedule my surgery immediately.
